Time for the real boss fight: Lung Cancer

You might have noticed I've been a bit distant lately. I've talked a bit about my wonderful distractions like Hogwarts Legacy and Dune, but really, they are just distractions from what's really going on with me. Unfortunately, it's because I have an actual health issue that's hard for me to talk about. I've been putting it off because who wants to talk about cancer?! Ugh. Is there any good time to talk about cancer? probably not. Here we go.

About 4-5 months ago, I started having some pretty strong shoulder and back pain. At the time I thought I had done something to my shoulder while going axe throwing with my church group. What followed was a month of going to the chiropractor to no avail. After a couple trips to the regular doctor and two x-rays later, my doctor recommended I get a CT scan since I had some fluid on my lungs and things looked "worse."

After the CT scan review, the doctor let me know I had about five masses in my left lung, and one of them looked cancerous. We scheduled a PET scan and sure enough, my left lung lit up like a Christmas tree.

Next up typically would be a biopsy, but I managed to fast track a fluid drain from my lungs at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake, which verified, yes, this is non-small cell Adenocarcinoma in my lungs. Between that fluid analysis and my PET Scan, my oncology team let me know I've been classified with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. 

No one knows how I got it. Yes, I smoked for a few years back in my early 20's, but it's been so long ago (30 years) that the doctors say it can't be blamed on that. I loved what the doctor said it *could* be blamed on, however: "cosmic radiation and bad luck." That's gotta be the name of my next album. (One of the tracks will have to be an experimental noise track featuring ocean waves mixed with the sound of an MRI since that's what I chose to listen to while they were scanning my brain.)

Brain MRI to fear? Worry not, underdog is here!

As for how long I've had cancer . . . I asked one of the specialists, and she guessed, "six months? a year? hard to say." One thing I remember is back when I had a kidney stone a year and a half ago, the radiologist in the emergency room said they noticed some scarring on my lungs. And that was it. Not, "YO, go get that checked out!" Not, "Hey! This could be cancer!" Nothing. There's really no screening for a thing like this unless you're "at risk," which I wouldn't have been. It's a mystery.

Anyway, the Stage 4 diagnosis has been difficult to process and definitely life altering. Surgery is out as far as options go, it's too deep into the lymph nodes and lining of my lung. Average life expectancy is five years with this cancer (some get less, some get more). You can see something different in my face since the news. I almost immediately lost 15-20 pounds (probably due to stress).

The worst part of this so far has been the pleurisy-like pain. I can no longer put my head on a pillow or lay on my side. Instead, I have to just lay flat on my back and take a bunch of pain meds to get to sleep. If I sneeze, it feels like I've torn a back muscle. I guess the next worse part has simply been considering my mortality and what will happen with my wife and kids if I die. I figured I had 20 more years of work in me and some golden years with my wife. 

Always playing the support role!

I am hopeful, of course! That could still happen! We're still trying to see if there are any genetic markers with my lung cancer that there are known therapies for. A genetic marker like ALK would mean I would have a pill available to me that could extend my life by years. YEARS! I also believe in miracles. I saw so many in just getting me from Texas back to Utah. I can't deny my faith. I also have other success stories I can look to. It's been my pleasure to trade texts with a local stage 4 colon cancer survivor that was on the brink of death and came back for the win. 

All of that has led me to today . . . besides what was mentioned above, I've now had two biopsies (since the first didn't yield results). Yesterday I started chemotherapy. On the upside, the brain MRI was clean, so it hasn't spread there. The Second CT scan showed it hasn't grown much in the past couple months. So, here goes nothing! I'm going to fight it with all I've got because even though I shouldn't expect a cure with Stage 4 cancer of any kind, it's not unheard of to fight cancer and win . . . at least temporarily. They're making advances all the time. (and as many of my friends have told me, there are holistic medicine choices to consider). It's just . . . a lot. Especially right now since it's new. 

Sending a message to my cancer.

I know some will see this post and think, how can I help? I'm not sure yet, and I'm not accustomed to asking for help. For now, just being there, cheering me on, and letting me know you're in my corner is enough. In the future, I may actually need some help, but for now I'm still working and doing my thing, just with this newly added, cancerous wrinkle.

TFN, Amber Deathsong, Kyle Skystaff, and the diapermancer.

Thankfully I have a very supportive and loving family. The kids have been so loving and incredibly supportive. The Uber Wife has been amazing and by my side the whole way. We've had sleepless nights. We've had long talks. She's held me close when I was close to losing it. She's amazing, She's my everything. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I'm incredibly thankful for my family and friends who have been there for me through all my text messages and phone calls. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Thank you for the visits and all the offers of help. I really do appreciate it. I'm humbled by your generosity.

Cancer sucks. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It would be great to add Stage 4 Cancer Survivor to my list of accomplishments.

Happy Dueling!