Monday, July 26, 2010

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

. . . so you all may be wondering why I only posted twice last week. Yeah, I WAS ON VACATION!

LAS VEGAS BABY!

WOOT!

It pretty much was the worst vacation ever. Let me break it down for you:

1- I get a one-way ticket to Las Vegas with my company to do some training for a week. Yeah, it's a vacation in disguise: it's a work-cation. Work-cations are kind of like when you smell BO through the body spray. nasty. Anyway, my plan is that I have the family drive and meet me while I'm there, we have fun during the evenings, and I buy a couple extra days for the weekend at Circus Circus since it's the closest thing to "family friendly fun" that Vegas seems to offer.

2- I get sick the moment my boss and I land in Vegas. I come down with some kind of head cold that causes me to have a runny nose the first few days and then eventually a pretty steady cough the last part of the week. I, of course, tried to treat it with all kinds of medicine, and you know what that does. No? It works, but it makes it very hard to concentrate on the training course I'm taking . . . which is dry . . . it's dry dry dry dry dry material. Dryer than Las Vegas in July heat.

This was my view for pretty much the whole week from the back of the classroom.


Yup, not fun, but dry. Did I mention it was dry? It was dry.

3- A trojan virus of some sort attacks the homebase computer while I'm away. HOORAY! That's right, someone at homebase surfed around enough to pick something up and then every person in the world gets spammed by the trojanized version of me, who is trying to politely sell them all cheap electronics in broken english. It even forwards to my blog and posts itself. LOL. Nightmare. I can't do anything but sit in Las Vegas and feel hopeless about trying to cure the problem at homebase. /shrug . . . what you gonna do.

4- The family does in fact head to Las Vegas in the car and meets up with me while staying overnight at the Monte Carlo. Diapermancer has a surprise for us though! He's brought with him the gift of the 24-hour stomach flu. Apparently, three hours from Vegas, this "friend" turned the family bat-mobile into the family barf-mobile.

And, yes, this evil friend of Diapermancer begins to slowly work its way through our family one person at a time until the trip ends. I get it last of all . . . on the way home in the car. This evil friend stopped us from doing many of the fun things we wanted to do, including the Tournament of Kings at Excalibur and the roller coaster at New York New York. But it did lead us down the road of discovery as we hunted down local grocery stores and pharmacies. All was not lost!

5- Our time in the Monte Carlo was ok, but when we shifted to Circus Circus for the weekend, we experienced all the dirt and grime an old Las Vegas hotel has to offer. In retrospect I should have complained to the hotel management about not removing the crime tape and leaving the blood stains on the carpet for us, but we suffered through it. OK, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I swear someone must have died in that room before us. I should have listened to what the evil Circus Circus clown was whispering to me in the lobby, "hissss, this place is evil . . . hisssss, you will leave here feeling like our all you can eat buffet just kicked you in the stomach, hissssssssss."


I didn't heed his warnings. /sigh I should have also listened to Zoltar, the evil gypsy in a box who told me not to ride on the slingshot ride, but no . . . I kept on trying to make it work out.



6- I feel bad for the people who found my decapitated head on the ground after riding the slingshot. Thankfully I reattached my head to my body and was able to recover from the freak-spinal-cord-severing injury. Sorry I didn't listen to you, Zoltar, evil gypsy man in a box.


7- It cost a lot of money.

8- No, I didn't gamble to lose more of it.

ANYWAY, we're back home (feel lucky that I'm skipping the sordid details of Bailey accidentally slashing her leg with a razor and the traffic jam horror), and my mailbox is "besmashed" with messages. I've got a lot of cool Wizard101 stuff to talk about, so . . . sorry about the delay . . . hope that explains it. :-)

All's well.

Happy Dueling!

11 comments:

Through the Spiral Gate said...

Good to have you back in the Spiral, Friendly :D

Alric Ravensinger said...

Yikes! That's a disaster wrapped in toxic gift wrap with ribbons dipped in rat poison thank goodness you survived it good sir I am glad to hear your family is Ok and I am glad to see ya back its NOT a good week when you and Kevin Battleblood haven't posted nothing!

Wolf Winterstaff said...

Ouch. All of the tiny little bad incidents coalesced into an awful vacation. My suggestion for vacations in Las Vegas is to leave. See some natural sites, or the Hoover Dam, or go to Death Valley for a day. At least it can only get better from here!

Mike said...

well, Even though i can tell it did not go so well, i wold love to go to LA just to see the sights. :)

Bloody99pker said...

Ah... At first I was like, why was your vacation the worst you ever had, if you were going to Las Vegas, one of the nicest place in the world?! Now I understand after reading the whole thing.. Sorry about what happened! Glad you and your family is all back home safe and hopefully back to normal! :)

M.W.S said...

Sigh, I hope Bailey is feeling alright that's just sad.

Blaze Silverfist said...

Wow, you poor little necromancer! That sounds really bad. (I couldn't help lol at Zoltar, evil gypsy man in a box. XD Loved the Evil Circus Clown. x shudder x)

Hope you get better and have a nice time back home. :)

~Blaze

Oh, I recieved that e-mail that the virus sent. I had a feeling it wasn't you because of the AWFUL grammar and spelling. Also when the From: said x insert Friendly's real name here x all in caps, it was a little suspicious.

Happg Gaming

~Your friend,
Blaze

Kevin BattleBlood said...

That's what that weird blog post was, the one that got deleted right away... Yikes..hopefully the damage isn't too bad.

Glad to have you back!!

Lenora NightWraith said...

It sucks that your vacation went so badly, Friendly. Hope you and the fam are at least feeling better and well, at least you guys had each other? I know, pep talk fail lol. Glad your back though, and in one piece...again. :)

Jonah said...

Ah, Las Vegas is so much fun.

My uncle works at New York New York. If you did happen to stop by, you probably saw him, lol.

Sorry you got hacked. That really stinks. Hope you were able to take care of it as best as possible.

Sorry your vacation went wrong in as many ways as possible. :/

Caroline said...

All Zoltar does is tell your fourtune...and freak you out. I'm not even willing to do that, even though its not a person person :P
Gosh, that picture of the evil clown reminds me when I went to great wolf lodge and I did this "Wizard Hunt" thing, or whatever it's called. You would get a "magic wand" to use on things and become a Super Magican, (or wizard, or something like that.) Right in the middle of the resturant was a fake tree (it was themed like a forest, okay?). When you put the wand up to the tree, it would light up. But, it freaks you out when you don't know that it was going to light up right when you start eating...