Let me start by saying that I hate to even keep talking about my stretch of unemployment. A lot of people from WIMO had it (and are still going through it) way worse than me. But MAN . . . not being employed for the first time in 26 years really hit me hard and knocked me for a loop. I'm being honest when I say that I truly haven't recovered from it yet ... AND I'M EMPLOYED NOW!! I'm still processing it day by day. My life has changed.
"He who can destroy a thing has the real control of it."
Anyway, back to Dune 2 -- I had this secret silent hope that someone would take me to see it. I really really wanted to see it. Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful here--I had some of the sweetest people I know do incredibly kind things like take me to lunch, treat me with charity, and even just make time to talk to me . . . but this secret hidden hope went unanswered. I even did hint drops LOL!
It's no big deal really, and I know it's crazy to have secret hopes like that, but there it was, there it is. I should have just gone to see it by myself and treated the precious money spent on the excursion as needed mental health, but I REALLY cut back on spending. I REALLY cut back on everything. I said it before, but I went full-on survival mode.
My friends. Today . . . today I made my wife sit down with me, despite her gripes at it being a long movie, and we watched Dune 2. I'm left feeling very strange. It's like I've closed that loop and walked through a door, but at the same time . . . there never was a door? Does that make sense?
"The world has made choices for us"
The movie itself was pretty great, and I had a blast watching it. It was visually stunning and a fantastic story. My only complaint is with the casting of Christopher Walken -- I can't take him and his cadence of speech seriously anymore, but all that aside . . . I loved it, and I knew I would love it.
I'm glad I can move on from not seeing this movie, and I hope that there was a door there for me. Two quotes in particular from the movie resonated deeply with that situation and felt apropos in a way: "The world has made choices for us," and "When our resources are limited, fear is all we have." I felt that.
I don't know. I just hope that I can feel good about spending money like that again and that these small joys of being alive won't be taken from me again. I also hope that maybe someday I can be the person who answers someone's secret hidden hope while unemployed. Yeah, it'll be good for that person, but it'll also help heal the part of me that's still here hurting. (Hope that's not too honest for y'all.)
I'm not out of the woods yet, but I think I can see a bit of the sunlight breaking through the trees. Thanks, Dune 2.
Happy Dueling!
1 comment:
Now you must play the new video survival game. This Is The Way.
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